Follow your heart. Or: How do I become happy?
Posted on July 31, 2017 • 3 min read • 489 words
Every now and then I get a taste of my own medicine. The same goes for the comment ‘You should follow your heart’.
As a man/consultant/architect/technical account manager, I know very well how others should do it. If you are not comfortable with your work, listen to your heart. Your heart often knows exactly what to do. It is then a matter of following your heart. The same goes for love, education and other relationships. But most of the time we don’t want to listen to our hearts. There are so many good reasons and bad excuses why we stay where we are.
That also applies to me. I also struggle to listen to my heart. Well, I listen, but I don’t always follow it. It is scary to suddenly start doing something different. You have to start all over again in most cases. At least you now know where you stand.
If you do what you did…
And therein lies the problem. A comment I use a lot is ‘If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you got’. I don’t remember exactly where this comment came from. But it is clear that it is true.
I’ve said it many times to colleagues and friends. The annoying thing is that when you complain about work, hobby, or circumstance, you receive your own comment. And rightly so. However, for many people, that certainty that you will get what you got is somehow more important than personal happiness. They then remain where they are, even though deep in their hearts they know that it is better to leave.
Listen to your heart
If you do what you like, there is no problem. If you feel something is wrong, follow your heart. Your heart often knows what to do before your mind. All you have to do is convince your mind. And if your mind can’t do that on its own, then maybe you need to give your mind a helping hand. There are plenty of coaches who can help you with this. And no, those people do not (just) make money from your misery, but they can really help you.
For example, they help you discover what exactly you should do, or not do, to become happy. This can be done by drawing up a list of arguments together with you. ‘Should I stay, or should I go’ in principle.
There are different lists you can make. One of them is ‘what gives me energy’ versus ‘what costs me energy’. When you fill this out, you will soon discover why your work makes you so tired, for example. Another list is ‘what I like about my work’ versus ‘what I don’t like about my work’.
With these two lists you are well on your way to convincing your mind. Ultimately, your heart already knows what you want (or at least what you don’t want).
